Like A Child

I’ve been critical of leadership that treats churches like a rag doll, dragging it around wherever they please because they think it is “best.”

But sometimes you have to change, and the decision will not be popular. How do you do that and hold the church together?

1) You have to be confident that such a move is really in the best interest of the church. A good friend talked with me today about “progressive” leaderships, and those that are not. My thought was: “What does it mean to be progressive?” If progressive means that the congregation, by making these changes, will come to be more like Jesus, well and good. But if it means that they will simply look like other churches now getting their 15 minutes of fame – I doubt that it’s worth doing.

2) Leadership must all be on the same page. This is what we need to do. This is why we need to do it. Reasons must be clear, valid, and compelling.

3) Methodical and purposeful teaching should be given on the issue.

4) The example should be set by leadership. You cannot effectively teach what you yourself do not practice.

5) Remembering how long it took leadership to come to this conclusion, leadership should be equally patient with their followers, allowing them to digest the information, and understand that because they are not leaders, they may not grasp the information and the discussion as quickly as leadership did.

6) There will be some push-back. After teaching has been presented, leaders should identify and meet with the resistant, allowing them to have their say, questioning them about their understanding of the issue and the scriptures involved, and kindly inquiring as to their motive. This is a “one on one” matter. You can’t simply call for a “gripe session." Ailing sheep cannot be helped in a group. It has to be one on one.

A note about this "one on one" business. I heard of a church today where the Elders were so distant from the members that they had a policy of not serving as a reference for anyone in their congregation. One of two things is true: Either there are not enough Elders, or the Elders are not doing the job.

7) When the bottom line “I just don’t like it” is finally heard, leaders have to respond: “We know. And we are sensitive to that. And we hope you have seen how sensitive we have been. But you know as well as we do this is the right thing to do. We expect your support and participation. We are family, and families stick together even when they don’t agree."

Again: It all takes time, and patience.

Every leader should remember Jesus' words in Matthew 18:6 -- “if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Jesus wasn't talking about children. He was talking about adults. Adults who listen like children, reason like children, and behave like children. But because they are believers, they are precious in Christ's sight. How we treat and respond to them carries serious consequences. God is not willing any be lost, and leaders must not be either.

One more point: Leaders sometimes reason: these (who disagree with us) will not be lost to the Lord. They may be lost to our church, but they will go and serve elsewhere. Consider this: How will we ever convince people the body of Christ (the Church) is important, if we treat the body's members as if they are not?